Bleh.

Stronger. Missed a workout Thursday, came back Friday and had a terrible workout. No cardio, was exhausted 30 minutes in, distracted the whole time. Expect a better start this week.

However.

My triceps are starting to horseshoe again. And they're firming. My biceps are rounding and balling up (under the fat, mind you). Pecs are gathering mass (again under a padding of moss). Quads are defining under the fat pad.

So I know what I need to do, I just don't know if I have the sustained willpower to do it.

Ugh

I know why I wasn't feeling well. And that is now done with. Life moves forward, but UGH. That wasn't fun.

Energy fade

Eyes getting heavy. Trying to figure out why.

Cheat

Got my cheese fix.

A whole pizza worth. In my defense, I did, however, only eat a few slices full, then just ripped the cheese off with a fork.

I don't actually feel ashamed. But I'm pretty sure no where in any diet does it say eat 2 cups of low-fat parmesan as part of any workout regimen.

As hard as I worked last night, I've got no apologies.

ROWR!

FEED ME SEYMOUR!

Serious hunger rev all of a sudden. It almost seems like it's in my mind, because my stomach doesn't want anything, but my mouth is watering and I want one thing. Cheese Pizza.

I'm thinking about cheeseburgers, tacos, Chipotle, and nothing is touching the thought of cheese pizzas.

Yeah, this is weird

I'm not used to being this full and satiated like this at this point in the day.

I could get used to this.

Full

Wow. Had about 1 scoop of the whey with my oatmeal this morning (8AM). Still *almost* uncomfortably full. Normally this time of day I'm in Snack Attack mode. The only thing I feel like I can't get enough of right now is water. I've knocked down two quart-sized containers before noon.

Oi.

New Theme

Still has some tweaking to do, but otherwise I'm satisfied with it.

Good Will Working Out

The Whey 60 is GOOD. Made a shake, and gulped it down. Per some suggestions, just used two scoops instead of 3.

I'm all manly like this: I was bawling all night from the pain. I'll admit it. I pushed myself to the point of physical and mental exhaustion. A lot of it is shame of looking the way I do and letting myself get so far gone.

I wanted to quit on that elliptical five minutes in. That was the closest I've come to quitting so far. I pushed on, and completed the 32 minutes. I'm better for it.

I'm getting stronger. Bench 225x2, no spot, no fear of dropping. This after a warmup of 10x135, then 8x185, 6x205. Incline, however...

I gulped that shake down. 2 scoops, a banana, and 2 cups of milk. Gone in 60 seconds. Going to try it with the water tomorrow.

GNC Pro Performance AMP Amplified Wheybolic Extreme 60

http://www.thesupplementrating.com/listing.php?id=985

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=118163391

Seems to be getting generally very good reviews with a few suggesting alternate products.

That, and bacon cheeseburger advertisements are the Siren Song to fat people.

75 Goddamn Dollars

for the by-product of the cheese-making process?!

Bastards.

In other news, I am loaded up on a little over a month's worth of "Amplified Wheybolic Extreme 60".

Time to see what happens.

Whey Protein

Time to go find some. To mix with this Pepsi.

Yeah. I said it.

Feet

Ok, Dead Lifts and Squats are good times, but WHY DO THE TOPS OF MY FEET HURT?

I don't get it it.

Lunch

Balsamic vinaigrette over Romaine, sliced black olives, Feta, and mozarrella with home-made crutons.

My wife is amazing. So is this salad.

Theme

Trying to find a theme. I'm too lazy(ha!) to create one myself. Lots of good ones out there; I want to find one that reflects what I'm trying to do.

Destruction

Yeah, it's not as bad as I expected. Still sore, still slow, but mechanically operational.

No wit this morning. Only ache. Bring on the ibuprofen. Forgot the Flexorill at home, dang it.

30 minutes after starting this post, I realize I have the greatest wife in the world. My lunch was packed with FANTASTIC goodies.

ROWR!

Start of workout: "Meh."

Middle of workout (after stepping on scale to see it register 255): "ROWR!"

End of workout: "...meow..."

I'm going to pay tomorrow. I worked out so hard I'm destroyed right now.

Post Whore.

Alot.

A whole lot.

Cardio tonight. Combined with the stress of a 5-page research paper, I find myself in discord with the whole work-out idea. Like the mind needs another excuse.

I can't tell if I pulled a muscle or if it's just seriously worked. Feels like it was just seriously worked. They're called abs. Can you physically pull an ab, or would it just be my intestine hanging out with my balls?

But seriously though...

God I post alot

I have too many ideas, too many thoughts, and only so much patience from my audience of cohorts and associates on Facebook.

This is a place to go off about my weight loss, be it two words, or be it a novella.

I've noticed that I work out so hard sometimes that I am not only physically destroyed, but I find my emotional overworked as well. I get... sobby, the physical toll coming out in emotional oversensitivity.

Yeah. I'm such a man sometimes, it kills me.

Good Christ, I want to take these dollar bills, walk over to the vending machine, and coin-rape it until every gooey, sweet, delectable confection drops out and showers me in high-calorie, nutritionless ecstasy. But I digress.

But I don't want to.

Dammit.

263 pounds. I have a goal of 215 by graduation of college. I can do it; I work harder than anyone else at anything I put my energies to, I just have to keep the focus alive. The wife has been a great support, so... here goes.